Greet-Ings…

If I absorb the information within the unread 5,500+ emails in my inbox and follow their wise advice, gone – Voila! – will be every mistake, misstep, wrinkle, extra ounce of fat, cholesterol, gray hair, depression and anxiety accumulated in my life. I shall be a Vixen! A Sexual dynamo! 30 again! A marketing genius! Well-read! Successful and rich beyond my wildest dreams! Informed! Transformed! Remade! Remarkable. What rubbish…

I counted them. 1,200+ email notifications from one single source since January. 500+ from another. Over 300 blocked spam messages that made their happy and deceitful way into my Email Inbox anyway. Dozens and dozens of warnings about every conceivable thing about which I should be immediately (if not sooner) fearful – Terrorism, getting sick, getting old, becoming poor, illegal Muslim Presidents, banking shams, internet dangers, tornadoes, fiscal cliffs off of which to topple in the middle of the night, the perils of being young, old, female, male, working, not working…the perils of being alive! Innumerable pleas and campaigns for my immediate purchase of potions, lotions and pills promising to erase every conceivable indication of my presence thus far on Planet Earth. 

I use my email program to communicate because, ummmm, I’m a communicator. And it used to do this quite well until it was commandeered by those who think I suffer from an acute and incurable lack of information. Like a hopelessly clogged In-Sink-Erator, it no longer helps me communicate, rather it tries to prevent it at all costs. This does not mean I will remove my beloved email program, because within the thousands upon thousands of messages from people who willfully know absolutely nothing about me and don’t want to, I will discover a lovely message from someone I care about, with this to say: “How are you!!!! Left you a message from Santa Fe…..loved it there! Miss you….when will u b back in city?

…and suddenly I remember why I got an email program in the first place..

Have a lovely day, everyone.

GM

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/10/technology/when-e-mail-turns-from-delight-to-deluge.html