Good Sunday morning everyone (again…)
Most people, the vast majority in fact, lead the lives that circumstances have thrust upon them, and though some repine, looking upon themselves as round pegs in square holes, and think that if things had been different they might have made a much better showing, the greater part accept their lot, if not with serenity, at all events with resignation. They are like train-cars travelling forever on the selfsame rails. They go backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, inevitably, till they can go no longer and then are sold as scrap-iron. It is not often that you find a man who has boldly taken the course of his life into his own hands. When you do, it is worthwhile having a good look at him. – W. Somerset Maugham, The Lotus Eater
For months my husband has been telling me about The Lotus Eater, a short story by W. Somerset Maugham that he had read decades ago, but with which I was unfamiliar. Last evening, while I was fixing the sauce for green Chile Rellenos that he would assemble later, he read it to me from start to finish. It is a story about changing and remaining the same, about taking a risk in which there really is no risk, about knowing oneself without ever really getting at the truth. It is about the ways things look, the ways things seem, the way we want things to be, the way things are.
I’m preternaturally aware of the unpredictability of life, no doubt because my Dad died when I (and he) was very young, which changes things for a person. So too is my husband, no doubt because he is a surgeon and has seen life slip away before his eyes too many times.
But we respond to this unpredictability in different ways. While he challenges himself to learn and grow, he draws back where physical safety is concerned, thinking always of his children and not wanting them to lose a father the way I did. I, on the other hand, love to drive cross-country and fly small planes, acutely aware of the dangers yet protecting myself as much as I possibly can. He would prefer I do neither, but understands my love for that kind of freedom.
I’ve always had a fear of being a train-car going back and forth on the self-same track as Maugham describes, and so has everyone else I have ever met…if they’re being honest. How, where, why and when we take risks with our lives – perhaps too much risk – and how, where, why and when we play it safe – perhaps too safe – are the most interesting questions about human nature I personally can think of. What is the balance? How do we find it? How far do we have to travel to find our authentic selves?
After all, train tracks were laid in order to take us to places we’ve never visited so that we can enhance our lives. But we take ourselves with us wherever we go. There is a Lotus Blossom inside each of us, if we can only access it there. For others, it only can be found in some distant exotic place…like the Isle of Capri.
Here is a link to the intriguing The Lotus Eater if you are curious about a character named Thomas Wilson, who went to look for himself on one of the most beautiful islands in the world. Maugham is a wonderful writer and it’s worth the read.
Snow’s gone now. Sun’s out. Have a lovely day, everyone.
Giselle
P.S. The Rellenos were a combined effort with a very yummy result. My husband had a beer, I had a glass of Prosecco and we watched Footloose of all things!
March 4, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Such a beautiful post Giselle Minoli . I am saving it as a link! I love Somerset Maugham. Many years ago, I read the book “Of Human Bondage” – one of the few books I have read over and over again.
March 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm
That’s without a doubt the best post I’ve read since I joined G+ so thoughtful and thought-provoking. Would you mind if I added it, or you did, to (Reading Addicts) with a # and readingaddicts. Thank you so much. Giselle Minoli
March 4, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Sunday now made perfect.
Thanks to you and Bryan, Giselle Minoli
March 4, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Giselle Minoli I too saved this lovely, thought provoking post. What a beautifully worded, powerful post. I look forward to reading The Lotus Eater. Thanks so much for your generous sharing, as always. If we just asked ourselves, “What do I have to lose, really?” when we face a decision, much more often than not we’d be surprised how often we really have little to lose, particularly after we take the leap. Physical risks are in a different category, but we probably over-estimate these risks as well. I need to take more risks.
March 4, 2012 at 7:12 pm
You are all way, way, way too kind. Thank you for your +1s and shares and comments. This morning I am very touched by your response. I have goosebumps. MisTikkal Rosy please feel free to add it to (Reading Addicts) and I’m most curious about that! So, you see, my own train has taken me to a new place this morning.
March 4, 2012 at 10:03 pm
Robert Rowe I’ve been thinking about your words today. No, we really don’t have much to lose…but in order to find our authentic selves I do believe we need a certain minimum of support. If, unfortunately, we are surrounded by people who encourage us to be afraid, then fear will color everything and the authentic self runs and hides. If, on the other hand, we are in the company of people who insist that we be our authentic selves – because ultimately it’s a living death not to be – then they will encourage us to take a risk even if it pushes everyone’s buttons to do so. Can’t tell you how many women were shocked – and scared on my behalf – that I would take the change to rent an apartment in strange cities in Italy all by myself. “But, aren’t you afraid?” I’d get asked. It wasn’t as if the answer was “No,” it was more of “Does it matter?”
But I have the same difficulties finding balance as anyone else does. The teeter totter is easier upon which to find balance than big life issues!
March 5, 2012 at 4:30 am
Thanks for posting this. Very thoughtful. I’m thinking this story will probably. Be top of mind for several days. Happy Sunday to you… Dlc
March 6, 2012 at 12:28 am
David Clatfelter thank you for that. And sorry it took me so long to get back to this post. But we had a snowstorm last night that left me without power for much of the morning and then I was all back-logged. Now it’s Monday night. Happy one of those to you. Happy my post sits on your head. Can’t think of a better place for it!
March 6, 2012 at 12:39 am
Glad to hear you made it through the darkness and the storms Giselle!
Giselle Minoli
March 6, 2012 at 1:28 am
For the record, this is NOT Kentucky. This is the Bermuda Triangle. It certainly is not the Isle of Capri…. Sadly.
March 6, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I love rellenos! Sounds like a lovely dinner
March 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm
Kristin Berkery I love that you love Rellenos. You know, maybe I should do a post for relleno-lovers…one of those “tell me about your first time” sort of things. I make New Mexican green chile ones…BTW!