Where will you be when you are old? With your family? Your friends? Alone? Will you be rich? Or poor? In good health? Or ill perhaps? Will you be mentally engaged? Or failing up there in some frightening way? How, and with whom, will you while away the hours of the day?
I’ve been reading the articles this week about the elderly Koreans who gather at a McDonald’s in Flushing, Queens to spend time together, to provide one another company. To come in from the heat, the cold, the wind, the rain, the snow…
They might buy large coffees and sip them for hours. They might get kicked out by the police, to whom the management has complained because they view these elderly people as interlopers, as loiterers.
It’s a business they say, put up or get out. It’s a business they say, not a meeting house. It’s a business they say, not a public park with benches on which to sit and chat with passersby.
It’s a business they say, not a living room, not a house, not a home. Pull out your wallet. Eat a burger and some fries. Have a large coke, throw out your trash, then take your leave. Please.
Okay. It’s a business. And the homeless can’t sleep in hotel lobbies. And the disenfranchised can no longer ride the subways for hours and hours and days and days. And panhandling is illegal.
And if the police come and round up all of the homeless people, and the crazy people who live on the streets because the street is home, and run off all of the lonely ones, the alone ones, the elderly ones…who tarry too long after the last sip of coffee is gone, who stay inside the atrium until just before the door is locked, who need just a little bit of contact with humanity before the sun goes down…
…then we won’t have to wonder what the elderly are doing tonight. If they are warm. Or loved. Or where their friends and family are. All we have to do is empty the trash, and ready the shop for one more day of work. Because it’s easy not to think about someone the police have kicked out…and why they loiter to begin with.
But where will you be when you are old? And do you think you will ever spend an evening wrapping your fingers tightly around a coffee cup, pretending it’s half full, when really you drank the last sip long ago?
January 24, 2014 at 1:19 am
that was amazing Giselle.
January 24, 2014 at 1:21 am
This scares me and although as a former business owner I do understand the argument that this McDonald’s makes – which is not the same as saying I agree with them — and if I still lived in NYC and if I was a regular customer of McDonald’s, which I am not, this case would make me not want to patronize McDonald’s. And having said all that, because though young at heart, I can’t ignore that I am getting older, and therefore this scares me. Thank you Giselle Minoli for as always a thought provoking post.
January 24, 2014 at 1:31 am
What we do to our elders in our modern world is our greatest shame.
January 24, 2014 at 1:38 am
I hope with my wife Annemarie Zaitz and nearby my two girls and their loved ones, but who can say.
Love this Giselle Minoli!
January 24, 2014 at 1:39 am
Umm no comment
January 24, 2014 at 1:46 am
Thank you all…it is indeed our greatest shame Russell McCarten. A refusal to acknowledge our own mortality, our fear of death, our denial of how quickly life can turn on a dime…well…
Years ago across the street from me in NYC there was an old woman washing herself with water from the gutter. She did not take her eyes off of me as I walked by. There was no shame. No embarrassment. Only reality.
stuart richman I think about it every day…
January 24, 2014 at 2:00 am
Giselle Minoli I have no family so it has often been on my mind even before your post. Am not sure what scares me more, not knowing or not knowing.
January 24, 2014 at 2:53 am
Greetings jyothi sriram! stuart richman perhaps I’m foolish (or naive or both), but I do believe that people who have a love of the arts have a very extended family. In New York it is always so nice to see people at museums, at the movies, at art galleries…at concerns…alone, but with other people. It’s the benefit of being in a cultural city…
January 24, 2014 at 2:59 am
Giselle Minoli I think of the Navy as my extended family as well as the arts so in that sense I have a very extended family and yet push comes to shove when the final days come I will be alone unless something changes between now and then.
January 24, 2014 at 3:25 am
Taking care of my mom these last few years has taken me to hospitals, rehab, assisted living, and independent living facilities. It is an insight into where one of those roads in my yellow wood leads.
Being around during a gradual decay of memory and agility has been instructive too.
I’ve learned that keeping in shape and practicing staying connected with people are two pretty darn important things I need to do now to make life easier on future me.
Reading your questions Giselle Minoli has made me realize that they have been floating around the edges of my consciousness without me realizing it for quite a while now.
January 24, 2014 at 3:31 am
Hello Bill Abrams I think I have thought about this since I was a little girl. Yes, of course our parents aging brings it to the forefronts of our minds in a particular way. I feel for these elderly Koreans. I so understand the Italian piazza and it’s place in the country’s culture. Our own is so isolating. I like to be alone. But I love conversation. And I cannot imagine an old age without music, without books, without writing, and painting and art and theatre.
To the elderly Koreans hanging out in MacDonald’s…that is the stage of their lives I think.
Your mother is lucky to have you Bill Abrams, and as sorrowful and difficult as it might be for you, for us, it is good to be reminded to keep it all together as best we can….
January 24, 2014 at 3:35 am
Giselle Minoli Nice article, Giselle.
I prefer to die in my sleep, or perhaps in someone else’s.
January 24, 2014 at 3:39 am
I’m learning as I go. Thanks. Giselle Minoli
January 24, 2014 at 3:40 am
I so hope we all are Bill Abrams. I so hope we all are…
January 24, 2014 at 3:49 am
Hi Giselle Minoli! Hope all is well. Thank you for the thought provoking post. Just today I broke down in tears when I saw a very old lady who is also homeless holding a sign asking for socks and a blanket. It broke my heart.
I had an appointment to go to so I couldn’t stop. And, unfortunately, by the time I went back to look for her she was gone. I cannot imagine being old, alone and homeless. No one should ever go through that. I hope that when I’m old, I’ll be still actively interacting with my loved ones, and with my husband by my side.
January 24, 2014 at 3:49 am
I do not know. I suspect my children will gather using social media instead of in person. Will someday I be evicted from a place where I do not speak the language well, but it’s warm? Sad question.
January 24, 2014 at 4:05 am
Most thought provoking. Thank you, Giselle Minoli. The only thing that springs to my mind initially is ‘love thy neighbour’… deeper reflection in motion 🙂
After a little pondering some more thoughts arrived… https://plus.google.com/106342049490120140849/posts/9ocPzF59Qns
A worthwhile life can be measured by the number of thank-you’s received.
January 24, 2014 at 4:08 am
Giselle Minoli Bravo for so eloquently exploring a topic that many of us without extensive families have thought of or have discusssed extensively! While there are no guarantees it seems that as one ages it is increasingly important to cultivate friendships with people around so that they in fact naturally become the support network that extended families used to provide. One of my best friends was a woman in her 80’s who lived alone. We were such pals that we rarely felt the several decades between our ages. She was so much a part of my life that I feel blessed that I was able to play a central role in the last several years of her life. As I view the landscape of the future alone, I think of Dorothy and have to trust that following her example of being a very active in the community, always ready to lend a hand, by having an open mind, having a heart ready to give and receive happiness, and living fully at all times, will result in a pleasant twilight.
As well though I think it’s important to think ahead. Giselle, you mentioned how life can turn on a dime… I disagree, it can change in a split second. For that reason, it may be helpful to have thought through some contingencies so that when things happen one can more easily adapt to change.
January 24, 2014 at 4:30 am
“It’s a business” is a remarkable phrase, really. It so naturally, so implicitly assumes that making money is more important than everything else…
January 24, 2014 at 5:05 am
Giselle Minoli Very thought provoking question that has been on my mind a lot recently. I live alone . I have no family in this state and my son is 2000 miles away. He spent the holidays with me and before he left I asked him to please come and get me out of here if I ever reach the point that I can’t stay alone.
So-why you might ask am I so concerned about this? I am 63 and while that is not “old” my social circle is getting smaller and smaller.
I lost a very dear friend to cancer a few months ago. She fought a brave fight and her worst fear was to die alone. We had many discussions about the time she would not be able to take care of herself. Where would she live? Would she have enough money to provide for her medical needs and pay for assisted living or Hospice care? Thankfully, her worst fears never happened. She died peacefully at home with her friends and family surrounding her. We were at her bedside, we toasted her life and drank Prosecco,( her favorite) held her hand and allowed her to leave this world.
Friend #2 has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease that is rapidly progressing and will soon leave him unable to take care of himself and continue to live alone. He is no longer able to work ( he is a nurse practitioner) or drive his car. He is unable to get groceries and prepares his meals. He is very despondent and currently just wants to die. Several of our friends are trying to help but this really isn’t an easy process.
Friend #3 just retired from her position due to her declining health at age 58. She has suffered the last few years from unrelenting MS.
How have I reacted to all of this? I embarked on a physical rehab last year- lose weight, exercise, get active and make new friends. I joined a walking group and considering joining a book club ( I want to stimulate my brain). But the worries are still there…lingering.
January 24, 2014 at 5:17 am
It’s late and I don’t have time to articulate and type all the thoughts your post provoked. I will say that at 53 I think about this subject a lot more than I did at 43, and more than that at 33, and more than at 23. More than anything I hope my four kids are around as I age, but I also want to have friends to sit at Starbucks or McDonald’s with and shoot the breeze over a cup of coffee. My wife died of cancer when I was 41 and she was 36, and I have not remarried. People tell me I need to find another wife so I won’t grow old alone. That’s a whole other subject, but suffice to say they don’t know what they’re talking about, “find” a wife, ha! it’s easier said than done. I feel lucky to have met and married a wonderful woman once. 😉
January 24, 2014 at 5:38 am
It all comes down on how compassionate we want to be. We have become too selfish a human race, closed in our own small thoughts and needs. What happens on the other side of our fences doesn’t concern us anymore. Old people are often viewed as a nuisance, the homeless as the trash of our society. yet they are people with stories and feelings. all we meed is to sit down and think a bit about the sense of our lives.
We are just “tourists” here on a short 100 year vacation. Soon or later we will enter the unknown, a dimension we know so little about.
What we did for the other will be our passport. Our hands clean of deceiving , theft, bribery. Our hearts and our compassion for the needy will help us in the last moments of our lives when we will add our good deeds to a scale that will help us to keep our eyes steaight when we will face our Creator with or without fear.
Giselle Minoli you made me think today. thank you my friend/angel/friend
January 24, 2014 at 6:30 am
Also, having progressively less children makes this more of a problem as our society ages, Japan at the forefront of this trend. It’s something that’s always worried me, how selfish people are becoming, and it shows most in the treatment of our elderly, who deserve the most respect and to be repaid for all their care. Plus, they’re so interesting!
January 24, 2014 at 6:30 am
There are a few people who are compassionate but as a society the U.S. is hateful. We throw the poor into the streets or herd them into warehouses we call “shelters” where they are expected to sit quietly like old shoes in the back of our closets.
The people working in those McDonalds are barely better off than the poor koreans huddled around their table. They live in tiny, crowded hovels full of mold and bugs; buildings that should be condemned and never are. Some of them will get sick and also end up homeless.
I’m not proud of the U.S.; not at all.
January 24, 2014 at 6:42 am
It is really sad to see how little our society in general really cares about the elderly.. who were once young and vibrant.. and built everything we are enjoying today!
Not discounting those dedicated daughters and sons who take care of their parents like they were once tended.. but those are the few.
The majority have moved far away, or are so busy in their daily lives trying to pay the bills that there’s no time (or money) to deal with them old people..
And I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
My Dad’s heart gave out before his mind did.. and in hindsight I see that was a blessing. Mom’s still going strong… but I’ve a mind to bring her in to live with me.. only I doubt very much she’d want to leave the town she has lived in almost all her life.
My Dad couldn’t look after his Mom at home.. but that never stopped him from seeing her nearly every day. Running errands for her. Bringing her for supper to be with family.
My Grandma’s sister never had a family, and things were very different for her.
Even though we tried.. she really had no one to visit her in the “home” which was more of a warehouse of old people just waiting to die.
There wasn’t much dignity left there for any of them.. although I’m sure the staff did try.. most of the time.
Want to see what it could be like for you?
Go to an old folks home and see.. Heck.. while you’re at it.. maybe pick up a book and go over to that oldster looking very lonely and bored.. and read to them. Talk with them!
January 24, 2014 at 6:48 am
Brilliant, Tim Southernwood – especially the daily ‘value’ delivered by your Dad and the ‘read to them, talk to them’.
January 24, 2014 at 8:14 am
E’ un post molto intenso, Giselle Minoli Osservo intorno a me, nella mia città, il numero crescente di anziani ed emarginati che vagano dalle una panchine ai marciapiedi, o sui mezzi pubblici ( riscaldati in inverno e rinfrescati in estate) cercando di incrociare lo sguardo degli altri..
Grazie ancora Giselle, le tue riflessioni suscitano molti pensieri.
January 24, 2014 at 8:36 am
Sei gentile a ricordarlo, Ken Owen , ma anche qui la realtà sta cambiando. Sopravvive ancora una bella tolleranza. Ma si tratta solo di ‘tolleranza’ o ‘pietà’.
January 24, 2014 at 9:17 am
Non lo so. Preferisco il riconoscimento della dignità di ciascuno, e quindi dell’offerta come giusta condivisione Ken Owen
January 24, 2014 at 10:58 am
stuart richman I’ll second this.
And yet, you know, the truth is we don’t know how it will be. Regardless of our current situation we don’t know. The problem might never arise, we might be beyond it in a few days, or in the next minute.
January 24, 2014 at 12:06 pm
Buongioro a tutti. Grazie dora chiabov e Ken Owen per i tuoi pensieri, i miei amici italiani (ed anche pio dal cin!)…but I’ll translate for everyone else…it is changing Dora and Ken, even in Italy, Yes, sadly. The streets of certain cities have always been filled with poor people – tutti quelli orfani a Napoli – but it is why I used a picture of an old woman in Arezzo, because somehow even within the growing poverty, there are still those piazzas, gathering places where familiarity overcomes unfamiliarity.
Years ago I had a young friend visit me in New from Italy. He had never been to the States before. He was so excited to see this big modern city, teeming with energy and people and work opportunities…so many Italians as we know are leaving Italy these days.
But then, come evening time, when we were contemplating dinner and the inevitable Italian Aperitivo, followed by something to eat, he suddenly blurted out, “Ma dov’e la piazza?” Ho risposto, “Non abbiamo “una piazza” nella citta,” and I explained that people go to the gym or to restaurants after work to be together…and then they all go home, sometimes traveling great distances.
It changed his view considerably of our modern life and he has not been back. And it was this, in part, that made me think of the similarities between the elderly Koreans and the Italians and that shared need for connection.
Here there is so much “my home,” “my house,” it is easy to forget that home is not such a warm and cozy space for so many people.
I don’t have a solution to any of this, as I think about it now when it is so incredibly cold on the East Coast.
But I love Tim Southernwood’s suggestion that we each make ourselves conscious in some way that is real and visceral and palpable. We can add to the life of some lonely person. We each go this way, too someday. It is the way of things.
January 24, 2014 at 12:15 pm
Thank you all for responding so sweetly to this post. And thank you dawn ahukanna John Kellden Anne-Marie Clark Walter H Groth dora chiabov Brandon Toropov Diane Barnett Steven Till Mark Hanson jyothi sriram Joe’s Cup Of Coffee (love that) Fresnel erick Paul Simbeck-Hampson Ken Owen and +Fabien Todescato for resharing and adding your own words. I so appreciate it…
January 24, 2014 at 12:26 pm
” SUCCESS” : “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and
the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal
of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit
better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition, to
know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have
succeeded.”
> Ralph Waldo Emerson
(How I want to touch even one life > Stuart Richman )
January 24, 2014 at 12:31 pm
Grazie per la lunga risposta Giselle Minoli . E’ abbastanza vero quello che dici sull’urbanistica storica delle città italiane (e anche europee). La piazza, su cui convergono (convergevano) le facciate dei palazzi del potere religioso, quello politico, economico, ornate da piante sotto cui sostare e panche su cui sedersi a parlare e ad osservare la gente che passa, non è più quella di una volta. Ora ci sono piazze “mediatiche” (la tv !) che conducono i poveri spettatori a pensieri e riflessioni molto poco edificanti e pochissimo utili alla socialità che tu auspichi.
Io vivo in una grande città ex-industriale, ora solo la ‘capitale economica’ (finanziaria!) d’Italia, e ne osservo con strazio, da molto tempo ormai, la trasformazione che la rende ormai simile a tante altre.
Noto anche la trasformazione del ‘carattere’ degli abitanti, una volta accoglienti , ora indifferenti se non intolleranti verso i nuovi venuti.
Penso anche che non sia certo meglio il sistema urbanistico americano caratterizzato dalle villette unifamiliari (come appare nei film).
Il mio disincanto, per ora, non trova soluzione ottimale.
Ma è stato un gran piacere leggere i tuoi post e la ricchezza degli interventi che sai suscitare.
January 24, 2014 at 12:45 pm
Well, if all works out as planned, my kids will have plenty of money to take care of us in our old age. If I get really old and feeble before I bite it, I told my daughter that I’ll be tickled to no end if she sets me in a creaky old rocker in the window to scare the neighborhood kids at her window. She of course delighted in this idea, she being 16 and full of it.
I’ve talked to my children and explained that they will have the means to hire home help for us if necessary – but I don’t plan on being a lonely, silent, mopey and feeble old lady. I’ll be raucous and coarse and loud til they burn me on a pyre. Because who wants to be buried when you can go out like a Saxon King?
January 24, 2014 at 12:58 pm
dora chiabov sette anni fa, ho passato cinque settimane a Bologna…ho affittato un’appartamento non lontano di Piazza Santo Stefano. Ogni giorno andavo sul treno a Parma a fare ricerca al’Archivio Storico li. At the end of the day I would return to Bologna and walk the streets under those glorious portici. On Sundays you could see the elderly Italians, who had been there all of their lives, sad that the walls of the city had so succumbed to graffiti, brought there by kids, mostly, from all over the world, and all of the fruit and fish markets that were starting to open on Sundays (traditionally a day of rest and quiet) because they were all now owned by non-Italians.
There are so many people who accuse those who have a nostalgia for the past of not being able to move forward. But the thing to remember is that not all tradition is useless simply because it is old. And not all that is modern is great in every way simply because it is modern.
Everything we now have that is new, our cars, our technology…everything…will one day be old. Like people.
Anch’io dora chiabov non trovo soluzione ottimale. Oggi c’e solamente una foto di questa vecchia, con il suo sorriso carino…
January 24, 2014 at 1:05 pm
Giselle Minoli , cittadina onoraria di Bologna, una delle città più simpatiche d’Italia!
January 24, 2014 at 1:13 pm
dora chiabov I have a few favorite photographs of Bologna…you have inspired me…perhaps I’ll make a post. The Church of Santa Stefano is by far my favorite of all that I have seen in Italy. The opposite of most duomi…especially the one in Siena, which I think is gorgeous. But Santo Stefano is stone and utterly simple. I loved Bologna.
January 24, 2014 at 1:23 pm
Denis Wallez I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it has always been thus…but it doesn’t feel that way to me. There are places called Blue Zones, the few places in the world where people live to be over 100. The scientists and researchers and doctors who have investigated these places in depth have pinpointed some of the key reasons there is so much longevity in these places – the elderly do for themselves, limited if any technology, a plant-based diet, eating nuts, laughter, love and affection from family connections, shared meals – it makes sense, doesn’t it?
But these are places that are completely unlike what most people aspire to – there is no Google Glass, no cell phones and computers and televisions. It is no a technology or money-based life. It is a life based on some kind of connection to the Earth that isn’t even written about anymore, much less valued. In fact, I would say that those who try to live this way here in the States at least are made fun of – farmers. No…the only thing that is aspired to is a vigorous city life. And yet, in Flushing, Queens, in advanced age, the elderly Koreans just need a place to sit with their friends.
The jaded and cynical and sarcastic would say this is an individual family problem…not one for the society and they would blame those who propose to include it in city planning for putting everyone on welfare.
Ah me…
January 24, 2014 at 2:22 pm
Wonderful! That would be great if city planning provided a place(s) for the elderly to hang out, for free! Giselle Minoli
January 24, 2014 at 2:27 pm
In our collective dreams Blair Warner? 😉
January 24, 2014 at 4:12 pm
Thank you Giselle Minoli for always having the perspective to remind us of important things we perhaps don’t like to be reminded of.
January 25, 2014 at 12:17 am
Could I direct everyone’s attention to the photographs of Isa Leshko, who has focused her sensitive lens (and heart) on elderly animals. Please watch her video…and listen to her talk about the events in her personal life that took her on this journey. Thank you Di Cleverly for posting this…and Eve A for telling me about it. Grateful to you both.
I want only to say that, sadly, it has sometimes been my own experience in life that people are often able to bring more empathy to bear on the subject of animals, which seem more innocent, more vulnerable and more in need than elderly human beings. Perhaps Isa Leshko magnificent photographs will soften our collective hearts. Thank you…
January 25, 2014 at 12:20 am
How thought provoking +Giselle Minoli. It does, however, raise the obvious question of how McDonald’s can sell Big Mac’s if their store if full of people sipping coffee to keep out of the cold. Of course that could be considered a public service and maybe the Koreans in your essay should be given a Civic Service Award. One could make the case that McDonald’s could start still another Foundation to “send them the tired and the poor,” with the goal of profiting from the positive publicity and ironically selling more unhealthy Big Macs.
I went into a coffee shop near University of Louisville on a cold Saturday and could not find a seat because of the plethora of students sipping their empty coffee cups. But they had earphones plugged into Mac Books and were eating scones.
+Giselle Minoli’s post sounds very Jacque Brel – the song is the Desperate Ones and it’s haunting: They hold each other’s hand and walk without a sound/ down forgotten streets their shadows kiss the ground . . .
Maybe the Koreans in Flushing should invest in lap tops and then they will be welcome?
January 25, 2014 at 12:29 am
How odd that Bologna has become a different place. I had the privilege of walking the streets and hills when I was 14 – and standing beneath porticos and in the moted beams inside its cathedral. Yes,we are changing and evolving all over the world. Hm.
January 25, 2014 at 12:34 am
John Poteet your words have rung through my ears several times today. I think you are spot on with your observation that the people who work at McDonalds aren’t exactly living in the lap of luxury. There is something about being that close to a situation you yourself fear. I remember years ago when I worked for CBS Records and we went through a terrible layoff…and my boss at the time had instructed me to layoff two people and I couldn’t do it. I was horrified. He was very cavalier about it…and I thought, “What kind of person would take any pleasure in this?” Answer: someone who was terrified of being fired…
January 25, 2014 at 1:03 am
Giselle Minoli I have been both the cafe worker trying to close shop and the handyman trying to patch together ragged rental housing. Now, after several injuries and protracted illness I’m one of the hidden impoverished tucked in the back of a family members house.
In the U.S. a wealthy person’s dog is assigned more daily resources than millions of the poor have to live with. That’s the absolute, literal, truth. If you confront these same wealthy individuals, and I have, with that truth they simply deny it or lay blame.
Maybe the worst insult we could use, the one we never actually say, is to call somebody a “human.”
January 25, 2014 at 1:20 am
Giselle Minoli — I was intrigued by the concept of “Blue Zones” and found their site with descriptions. What strikes me as a common motive in all zones is cultivating the “sense of purpose” and working/volunteering for others (not just for themselves); no idea of “retirement” at all. I somehow think these might be even more important than diet etc.
January 25, 2014 at 1:57 am
John Poteet twice you have done it…this time calling forth a pondering of the difference in meaning between the word “human” (as different from animal?), and the word “person” (which is more personal?), and the word “elderly” (which everyone wants to run from because becoming old is never going to happen to them_), and the word “being” which connotes some sort of etherealness, and the word “soul,” which connotes something poetic, or sometimes something to do with death…and so it goes. To be honest with you I dislike all of these phrases: young girl, young woman, old woman, old man, the elderly, youth, human, animal…because the suggestion is that depending on the age we are supposed to have different levels of feeling or respect or empathy.
Why do we find it easier to feel more for helpless animals than for helpless human beings (no sweet Eve A I don’t blame animals and Yes that perhaps is just the way we are). Why do we find it easier to feel for helpless children than for an adult whose physical statute belies helplessness?
In Isa Leshko’s photographs…the eye of the rooster is haunting…and as direct as the eyes of the “old woman” in my photograph.
January 25, 2014 at 2:01 am
I would ask Giselle Minoli why “we” feel it easier to not feel? In any degree?
January 25, 2014 at 2:09 am
Sometimes Bill Collins I think the answer to that is overwhelm. I know that when I walk down the streets of NYC at certain times of the year the need is so obvious and so painful that in one block it can feel overwhelming…racing for the subway to go to work for the boss who is intolerant of lateness and you have to hold onto that job because so many people are out of work and how do you stop on the sidewalk and talk to someone who is living there and how do you stop in the subway and make contact with someone whose reality is that and how do you make contact with someone on a subway car when you have some specific time to be some specific place? I know therapists and social workers and volunteers who just burn out. I do not think we have endless capacity to absorb it all.
But…what if this grew into some huge Greater Good effort at McDonald’s and in each city they made sure there was a McDonald’s big enough for people to hang out for long periods of time????
Do you remember the McDonald’s in Bologna on via Independenza (I’m doing this from memory…not a map, just across from the entrance to the Piazza (where all the busses stopped)??? The Italians loved that McDonald’s. It was so new to them. They loved the fries and it would be packed every day.
It isn’t even possible to blame McDonald’s..but maybe it will be fortuitous in some way that this happened on their terra firma…
January 25, 2014 at 2:31 am
Your last comment could be a post on it’s own. I have really enjoyed his string of conversation. Well enjoy is the wrong word in this case, but you know I mean. It’s such a serious and important topic. Thanks for your time addressing it and making us think. Now, what action will it provoke? The 64 million dollar question.
January 25, 2014 at 2:34 am
Lena Levin I think that is absolutely right. I love technology, but it also drives me crazy. Let’s start with TV clickers and sitting in one place surfing television channels. One of the things about Blue Zones is that there is little automation…no buttons that raise water from the well, or automatic seeders for the vegetable garden. It’s basic living…which…if the purpose is to be healthy and live a long active life, seems remarkable sophisticated compared to this automatic world we live in.
To return to the conversation you and I were having about automatic vs. stick shift cars on another thread, it is the same thing. What is the balance between wanting things to be easier and wanting things to be healthy?
In the Blue Zones there is a sense of communal living….generations of people, grand and great grand children having dinner with their (extreme) elders…so there is never a disconnect. The laughter comes from enjoying one another’s company, rather than from watching television.
Isn’t that what the elderly Koreans are wanting to do by hanging out together in McDonald’s? There is something so sweet about the effort they make to be together.
January 25, 2014 at 2:38 am
I do not remember that McDonald’s. I do remember the telephone company, with the ring of red booths where one could walk in and call home. Bologna was a grand city. I’m sure it will resurge again.
To the point. I would like to know what the owner/manager/flunky of the McDonalds in New York feels fearful about with respect to his guests. If we cannot live in the village, so the village comes to us, why not embrace it?
January 25, 2014 at 2:43 am
Blair Warner I cannot see how this is just going to go away for McDonald’s. As stuart richman pointed out, this just sort of happened to them. But, maybe that’s the only way it becomes national news. I mean, had there been some local hangout that no one had ever heard of where this group of elderly Korean friends were gathering every day, it might not have been news. Now there is a big conversation about it. Not just here on this thread, but every day in the Times. I just searched the Times for the number of articles about this…and on one page there are a dozen…along with some other interesting articles about what is happening to the Korean family.
January 25, 2014 at 2:53 am
“Isn’t that what the elderly Koreans are wanting to do by hanging out together in McDonald’s?”
Isn’t it strange, though? The lessons of “Blue Zones” would rather suggest that the best thing would be to participate in raising their grandchildren and great grandchildren and/or to volunteer to help someone else. And this idea of active participation in life, of working in some sense, with purpose, till the life’s very end, seems to be uncommon in our society (although not absent altogether). On the contrary, the society seems to be focusing on the ideal of retirement — the earlier, the better; and not retirement to engage in another kind of participation, but rather to rest or to “have fun”. But it appears that it’s exactly what pushes a person prematurely “out” of meaningful life, makes them into just a (potential) recipient, not a giver; deprives them from that fundamental “sense of purpose”. It’s not just the matter of life being easier or more difficult; it’s rather a matter of “the meaning of life”, I think.
January 25, 2014 at 3:16 am
I am curious how Korean language newspapers and other Korean language media both in the states and in Korea are handling this story and on another level in NYC has there become a disconnect between the younger Korean generation who culturally normally venerated their elders as is the case in most Asian societies.
January 25, 2014 at 2:08 pm
Lena Levin You are an artist and you know that artists never retire. Musicians make music until they can no longer sit at the piano, or how a bow between their fingers. Painters paint until, perhaps, they forget they are painters. Dancers dance, perhaps they no longer perform, but then they teach, choreograph, serve on the board of their dance company.
I agree with you. I loathe the idea of retirement and I have never understood it. Perhaps because my mothers friends growing up were all artists and they never stopped.
In the business world in New York it is common to hear of someone retiring, and then, suddenly they will “unretire,” when the golf course becomes boring, when sitting in front of their computer screen counting their investment money becomes unsatisfying.
Part of the problem, I think, with American business life is that it is so centered for such a long time on “making it” and people get pulled away from connections to life that has nothing to do with making a living.
In the story about the Koreans, for me this is palpable…the need to be with friends and to engage in conversation. I watched my company grow so huge and become so busy there was no longer any conversation at work about anything other than work. People forgot who they were, as individuals. There was no time to be interested…or concerned…
January 25, 2014 at 3:02 pm
Good morning Amira Elgan. If there is one thing about which I am certain…it is that Mike will be by your side. I know well the feeling you had when you saw that woman. From the time I was very, very young I remember there being a culture of belief that women and children were to be protected. This is not at the exclusion of men being protected, too…not at all. But just that when in any society you see homeless women (who give life) and children (who cannot protect themselves) living on the streets, it is a sign of a very serious breakdown. It is heartbreaking. Perhaps I am wrong, but it seemed to me that women of my mother’s generation were less tolerant. They saw themselves in the eyes of those women. Depending on where one lives, it is easier or more difficult to see it…and to feel obligated to help in some way.
su ann lim what a lovely remembrance of your friend Dorothy. My mother seemed to draw older women to her…I witnessed her many such friendships. I think in the traditional work and business worlds it is difficult to find such friendships (such mentorships?) as so many people are forced to retire, now often before the age of 60! So, unless one has a way of connecting to such people (men and women) in one’s private lives, the elderly just seem to go another direction.
In New York City, one of the things I love about the city is going to the movies and museums and galleries and bookstores and coffee shops…it is literally all ages of people that one bumps elbows with…and it feels so right.
Okay…you win on the “dime” vs. the “split second” thing…because you are right. Someone can lose their job and never get another one. An earthquake or tornado can take their house and they are homeless. There are many such instances. I think we rely to heavily on immediate family. Some people do not have one. Friendships such as the one you had with Dorothy are essential to such people.
January 25, 2014 at 3:39 pm
Marilyn Perry I feel for you. No, 63 is not old…in fact if you have plans to live to 90 it is quite young. And I know many 43 year olds who are, in terms of their health, much older than 63. But…in a culture where, now, so many talented and viable 63 year olds are no longer working it is more and more difficult to remain connected. The assumption that everyone has a family who will take care of them, or the financial means as you point out to help if that is what is necessary is absurd in and of itself.
But the fact that so many people are viscerally (emotionally or in reality) connected to this issue is what gives me the faith that we can shift our attitude toward the elderly in this country. And Hillary Clinton is going to be our next President…and the focus on women and children and the elderly is going to be pushed to the forefront of American politics. Because it does, indeed, take a village. Be kind to yourself Marilyn Perry. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences with us.
January 25, 2014 at 3:47 pm
We have a woman in my apartment building who turned 100 years young two months ago and she is more active physically and mentally alert then many of the 63 yr aged residents of the building. Although she does have many younger family members she can turn to for help if she needs it she lives independently. She says her secret to a long and happy life is eating a raw onion sandwich each day and a good attitude. I don’t know about the onion sandwich but I am all about the positive attitude.
January 25, 2014 at 4:06 pm
stuart richman my stomach just turned over. I need my sweet vidalias well caramelized. Diana Vreeland ate a peanut butter sandwich each day for lunch. But, frankly, I vote for a glass of Prosecco or good red wine at the end of each day and a home-cooked meal. And crossword puzzles. And music. And poetry. And art. And conversation. And chocolate. And dancing. And love. Have I left anything out?
January 25, 2014 at 4:18 pm
Giselle Minoli plus 1’s the good glass of wine and home cooked meal, plus 10’s for the crossword puzzles, the music, poetry, and chocolate, plus 100’s the art, conversation and dancing and plus 1000 for the love ( perhaps the only thing left out is coffee ). ♡
January 25, 2014 at 11:25 pm
stuart richman I think you can get the coffee at McDonald’s in Flushing, Queens. I’m sure they’d be happy to have the business! 😉 Plus…I understand they’ve reached a truce with management and can now “hang out” again: Song Yong Park, 77, Byung Uk Cho, 84, and Yin Kun Pae, 86, stand outside the McDonald’s restaurant at Northern Boulevard and Parsons Boulevard, where they can now hang out again under a truce between the seniors and restaurant management. Yeah!
January 25, 2014 at 11:36 pm
Giselle Minoli thats wonderful news Yeah ! Plus 1000 for Song Yong Park, Byung Uk Cho, and Yin Kun Pae and elder power in Queens and everywhere. And a thumbs up to McDonald’s for doing the right thing. “I’m loving it”
January 25, 2014 at 11:47 pm
Giselle Minoli by the way I posted some dance photos for you yesterday but it was during the time G+ was having hiccups so the notification may have been lost in the confusion 🙂
January 26, 2014 at 12:14 am
This unquestionably worth sharing. Thank you for posting Giselle.
January 26, 2014 at 1:23 am
Thank you for reading Mark J Horowitz. Thank you for commenting!
January 26, 2014 at 1:53 am
You’re very welcome Giselle Minoli 🙂
January 26, 2014 at 5:56 pm
NYC is anything but a police state. Given all of the cultures, all of the religions, all of races, all of the ages of people…and their professions and hobbies and interests that intersect there, it is a place of remarkable tolerance, peace and harmony. It’s pretty extreme to take this one thing, which was not instigated by the police (they were on the receiving end of a call and were obligated to respond), and call the city a police state. I should know. I’ve lived smack it the middle of NYC since January 1979. For what it’s worth to you Hal Cooper, being out in small town America where everyone is exactly the same can have much more of a police state feel than NYC will ever have.
January 26, 2014 at 9:44 pm
But that is everywhere Matthew Graybosch. It’s not just New York City. I still feel safer and more free to walk the streets as a woman and never get hassled in NYC than I do in any other city I’ve ever lived in or visited in this country. But maybe that’s just me. Obviously I wouldn’t live there if I felt it was a police state… 😉
January 26, 2014 at 10:35 pm
Matthew Graybosch I’ve lived in NYC all of my life and have never been stopped nor frisked at all. I don’t feel like I’m being watched even though I might be, and frankly, I’ve got nothing to hide, except for the fact that when we were kids, we ran through the grass, in the housing project where I grew up. Now the secret is out. As far the frisking, perhaps you’re just prettier than I am 🙂
January 26, 2014 at 10:41 pm
Ah, Mark J Horowitz now the other secret is out. 😉
January 26, 2014 at 10:46 pm
Giselle Minoli If there was anyone who could get me to divulge that dark secret from my past, it was you 🙂 BTW, there were no hidden cameras back then.
January 27, 2014 at 4:25 am
I read this a few days ago and have been thinking about it since because I’m close to 70 and while I don’t think of myself as old there are those who do. Since my wife died twelve years ago I’ve been on my own (as one of my grandsons puts it). I’m blessed to have family and friends close. I keep one of my grandsons one day a week and more if needed. I’m in good health but have friends who aren’t that fortunate and the one thing I realize is that my health could change anytime and depending on the situation I might not be able to care for myself for awhile. But I don’t dwell on that.
Old people have a story to tell; they were young once and I’ve come to realize it’s necessary to hear those stories. I knew an older man thirty or forty years ago who was in his late 70’s or early 80’s who had slowed considerably and walked with a shuffle. But he was the first person in this area to fly a plane back in the 20’s. So to those who are young, talk to your parents and grandparents and their friends and learn their stories. One day they’ll be gone and it will be too late.
January 27, 2014 at 1:24 pm
Steve Solomon. I didn’t have the good fortune of knowing either set of my grandparents. Yours are words of wisdom. How very fortunate for your grandchildren that they have your company, your interest and the blessing of hearing your own stories. And how fortunate for you that you have their company. Each gives to the other a different thing.
Of course you got me with the mention of the gentleman who was a pilot. As a GA pilot myself one of my favorite things is to talk to the elderly gentlemen who often come out to the airfield just to be there. They are always so sweet and so generous and so encouraging.
You know, now that I think of it…they come and hang out at the airfield for company just like the elderly Koreans gather together at McDonalds. The difference is that they are welcome at the airfield. No one would dream of kicking them out. In fact, they are part of the history of aviation and everyone wants to see them there.
As for our health Steve Solomon many people pay more attention to the stock market. We can have much more of a positive impact on our health than we are taught to believe. With health, too….one day it will be gone and everything changes when that happens.
January 28, 2014 at 12:32 am
Giselle Minoli I bet you hear some interesting stories from the gentlemen who come to the airfield. And, as you mentioned, they are probably there as much for each others company as anything.
I’m sorry you didn’t know your grandparents. I knew both sets of mine. My grandparents on my dad’s side lived nearby so I saw them often. My mother was born and raised in south Georgia so I didn’t see my grandparents there as much. My oldest granddaughter is putting together a family tree as a project in one of her classes and I gave her some information I had on the two families. I told her that my grandparents were all born in the 1880’s and that for the first ten to fifteen, maybe twenty, years, they lived pretty much the same as their parents and grandparents had. Their transportation was either walking, horseback, horse and buggy or sleigh. Then things started changing fast and by the time they died all but one had seen men land on the moon.
None of them had very much, material wise, but the shared what they had and did what they had to do to survive. They were an interesting generation.
January 29, 2014 at 1:08 pm
An interesting and wise observation about why, exactly elderly Koreans might have been attracted to the McDonald’s in Flushing Queens as a gathering place. It has to do with a multitude of issues – sunlight, locality, convenience, shifting cultural values, Yes, getting older…but in reality shouldn’t McDonald’s be flattered and feel proud that they have become so entrenched in life as to become a gathering spot in the first place?
“It’s how we keep track of each other now,” Mr. Yim told me. “Everybody checks in at McDonald’s at least once a day, so we know they’re O.K.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/29/arts/design/lessons-from-mcdonalds-clash-with-older-koreans.html?ref=arts
January 31, 2014 at 8:24 am
Thanks for the Add 🙂
This is a remarkable case of “Didn’t I do this before?” for me, as I feel certain I’ve thanked & Added you before over this exact pic & writing!
Hopefully it will turn out well & thanks again 🙂
I hope you have a good day 🙂
February 13, 2014 at 6:30 pm
I am a first wave boomer looking back on childhood looking forward to old age. the question “What will I be when I grow up?” has lost its currency … it has grown meaningless: as it turned out, I did not grow up, but I very much am what I have become – there is no changing that at this point in the game.
About 20 years ago I spent 10 days helping one of my deepest mentors though his end of life. He had called for a wake to occur while he could still enjoy it, and we obliged him. For me it was a life-changing event, and because I had elected to document the entire unfolding of the event, a book came out of it.
I ponder your question a lot, as a background process running at low priority most of the time. But sometimes it jumps to front and center, like it sprang from a jack-in-the-box.
A lot of my life has been tangled up in the low-paid and struggling realm of the music business – the world just revealed/exploited in the Coen Bros Finding Llewyn Davis. And I am losing old friends (who are not all that old really … late 40’s and early 50’s models) pretty fast now. handful a year and the number seems to be growing.
Last time I got effective at community level I saved an estuary from development into condos, and before that helped get a “safe” space going for our community’s youth to gather – and miraculously, both have survived through the decades.
But it is VERY clear that out there in the world “this is a business” is the norm and that at the rate things are changing there is not going to be someplace for us to go, unless we figure out how to create it right away and put some sort of fence around it – notice to title level protection – to keep it from getting privatized.
Thanks for the descriptive. Helped remind me that there is a whole lot of work to be done once I finish the greenhouse project.
February 13, 2014 at 6:50 pm
joe breskin Your’s is a very sensitive and touching comment. At which age would you say the first baby booming age begins? It doesn’t really matter much but I’d be curios to know where I’m at.
February 13, 2014 at 7:03 pm
Mark J Horowitz the baby boom that I belong to was spawned in bleak gravel of the devastation of war and fed with the optimism that followed … after the cessation of hostilities in WWII.
Personally, I entered this world in march 1947. I came of age in the ’60’s believing that we could capture the plastic presses of the music industry and use them to send out coded messages that would create a global movement that could change the path the world was on.
the larger culture responded to “turn on, tune in, drop out” with “sex, drugs and rock-n-roll” and ultimately proved me wrong.
February 13, 2014 at 7:12 pm
joe breskin , I guess that would put me in one of the last waves of the baby boomers but I shared many of the experiences that you did. We are both idealists but my idealism has gone through some changes over the years. Of course, we must do all that we can to change the world on a grand scale, however, we should not underestimate the power and ripple effect of improving our own characters and doing acts of goodness and kindness.
February 13, 2014 at 7:20 pm
try this one Mark J Horowitz … from about a decade ago
http://www.breskin.com/writing/whatmatters.htm
It’s about what REALLY matters …
February 13, 2014 at 7:27 pm
Thanks joe breskin . If I don’t get to read this tonight, I will definitely do so over the weekend.
February 13, 2014 at 10:40 pm
Hi joe breskin and Mark J Horowitz thank you for adding your comments to this post. I think about this all the time too, maybe not so much because of any age but because I have always had friends who are much older than I am and because I lost my father so young and because people don’t realize how fragile everyone single one of us is.
There is so much effort to remain young, to avoid the inevitability of dying. I remember when George Harrison died his wife said that he had had a good death because he knew that he was going to die and had begun a spiritual journey when he was quite young and so he wasn’t in denial of anything.
The one thing that we all share is that we come into the world alone – witnessed though it may be by others – and we leave it the same way – surrounded though we may be by others – but we often spend the time in between drawing boundaries and distinctions between us rather than identifying our similarities.
Compassion. There is no other way.
Grace. There is no other way.
Understanding. There is no other way.
Peace. There is no other way.
Boomer or youth…it matters not.
February 14, 2014 at 12:32 am
Well Giselle Minoli , your sentiments are right on target and age is not a factor. They say you’re as young as you feel. I’m the only boomer I know that heads up his own Indie Rock band and plays in clubs, to 20 and 30 somethings.
I started my own spiritual journey when I was a senior in college. The way I see it, we are never alone, not when we are born nor after this life as the Creator is always with us 🙂
February 14, 2014 at 2:01 am
Giselle Minoli have you written about your feelings about the inevitable before? Your comment seems so – “fluid” is the only thing that comes to mind.
February 14, 2014 at 2:18 am
Hi Bill Abrams well, maybe not directly in the sense that you mean, but there seem to be continual opportunities to reflect on this particular issue through a variety of different stories, this one inspired by the story about the elderly Koreans in McDonald’s, which made me free associate about the photo I had taken of this lovely elderly woman in Arezzo. Then I posted about an execution in Ohio, which so disturbed me, because I don’t believe that the passing of a criminal is free of spiritual repercussions for those involved with that death or condoning it, and I was upset by comments made about Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s death because I think people who coldly called him an addict and called him selfish and feel he didn’t try hard enough to get himself clean are hiding behind their own judgements about other people and are afraid of their own deaths and frailties and flaws and fallibilies.
So, yes, I do write about it, but the longer piece is something I am saving for when the time is right, which will probably have something to do with flying, Bill. Let’s just say that every time I get in a plane I am aware of it, not because I think flying is dangerous, but because it puts one very in touch with oneself in that particular way…if you are paying attention that is.
February 14, 2014 at 4:29 am
So many threads. The edge or risk created by being off the ground without wings, the ignorance of the incredible power of chemicals over a susceptible spirit, one whose genius drew from a well of vulnerability and sensitivity to others real and written, executions (which I have had my own experience with), and observing the elderly as I enter that definition and see my parents make their way to the end of it.
I look forward to your piece.
Or a ride in the copilot’s seat.
February 14, 2014 at 5:14 am
Bill Abrams if you knew you would live to be 100, at what age would you say you were entering the age of the “elderly?”
A ride in the co-pilot’s seat it shall be. Only you have to promise to be a traffic spotter!
February 14, 2014 at 5:43 am
My 79 year old mother teaches yoga classes several times a week and refuses to admit she’s a little old lady. She does wear a lot of purple though.
February 14, 2014 at 6:51 am
Love your mother John Poteet…for the yoga and for the purple! It never occurred to me ’til now that little old ladies segue from pink to purple when they get older. Maybe we should all just start out wearing purple from the get go and skip the pink all together!
February 15, 2014 at 2:04 pm
Giselle Minoli Elderly is such a comparative word. I am always younger than elderly, but the transparency of teenagers reminds me that I am already elderly to them.
100? I’m planning on 80 years of mental and physical wellness. Anything after that is a bonus. So maybe after 80 I’ll feel lucky – not elderly.
February 17, 2014 at 3:08 pm
I have what many would consider to be a strange relationship to age Bill Abrams. I always felt much older than my age when I was much younger and it had nothing to do with health, just life experience. I never feared the milestones that many people, particularly women, I think, fear…30, 40, 45 and counting…because I always thought it was all such a gift to be alive. The older I get the younger I feel in many ways and so the article in the Times recently about the power of the older brain (the older brain is a good brain if you take care of it) I read with interest. I know 15 year olds who are so stuck in their ways that they are like donkeys compared to 60 year olds I know. And I know spry, youthful and ever curious 85 year olds…but 40 year olds who are completely stuck in the mud.
Unfortunately, the body and the mind are two different organisms…connected to be sure…but one’s body can fail while one’s mind can be sharp as a tack.
February 17, 2014 at 3:19 pm
Dropping by to say hi. What a thread! I noticed you said the “the older brain is a good brain if you take care of it”. What do you suggest, or have read, is a good way to take care of it?
February 17, 2014 at 3:36 pm
I love that you stopped by to say Hi Blair Warner! Boy, what a question. Well, there’s are many differing opinions about how to take care of the aging brain and while I’m not a doctor I certainly have had my share of in depth conversations about this issue with my various health care professionals, specifically in light of the fact that my mother had Alzheimer’s, so I’m particularly interested. I believe in starting with an anti-inflammatory diet first of all (lots of fish, fresh fruits and vegetables) and exercise of course. And I’m a believer in certain supplements – high quality fish oils, for starters. But I take certain other things – alphalipoic acid and CoQ10, for example. There is a lot of evidence that blood sugar levels affect the brain and that there is a relationship between heart health and brain health. There is a lot of evidence that there is a higher degree of Alzheimer’s if Diabetes is present and there is a relationship as well with alcohol consumption.
Blair Warner I’m not citing any studies because this information is widely available online but you asked me and so I’m telling you what I do, which is: cook for myself and my husband every single day. No chemically preserved food, no highly processed foods (okay…the occasional potato chip…), keep sugar to a minimum (okay…the occasional cookie…), and take supplements that are known to support the immune system functioning properly. Inflammation is a big culprit in heart disease, auto-immune disease and brain health.
There are people who don’t do anything unless there is proof, but I think we all have to use common sense, do the best that we can, live our lives well and have some faith that what we eat, what we do and how we behave can positively impact our health.
But you know who the real expert in anti-aging is here on G+? Kim Crawford Kim Crawford M.D. – Anti-Aging Doctor Florida. Kim is, in fact, a specialist in the field. She’s a doctor with a background in sports medicine, among other things, and comes at it very much from a perspective of whole body, whole mind health. I know that she will correct me if I’ve gone astray with anything I’ve mentioned here. But you should (all) check out Kim’s profile. Her posts are full of information that everyone can benefit from. Kim Crawford is a gift on the Google+ community. A gift.
February 17, 2014 at 3:44 pm
Thank you Giselle Minoli for this information which most will find useful and I will check out +Kim Crawford M.D. I eat fish in some form or another 5 times per week. Is there a need for fish oil in addition to that?
February 17, 2014 at 3:50 pm
Here are four articles you all might find interesting:
The Older Mind May Just Be a Fuller Mind:
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/01/27/the-older-mind-may-just-be-a-fuller-mind/
Four Vitamins that Strengthen Older Brains:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/03/health/research/vitamins-b-c-d-and-e-and-omega-3-strengthen-older-brains.html
Older Brain May Really Be a Wiser Brain:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/20/health/research/20brai.html
Disruptions: Using Addictive Games to Build Better Games:
http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/16/disruptions-using-addictive-games-to-build-better-brains/?hpw&rref=technology
P.S. I do the NY Times Crossword puzzle every day, I read a lot, I write a lot, I try to use my brain all the time. It will die eventually, but, hopefully not because I mistreated it!
February 17, 2014 at 4:10 pm
I’m reluctant to answer that for you Mark J Horowitz. I think the quality of the “live” fish you eat is key – it should be wild caught. And if you take supplements, again, the quality is key. I eat fish about 3 times per week and, Yes, I take additional fish oil supplements. They have made a big difference in the way I feel in general – softer skin, more resistance to colds (I haven’t had the flu in so long I don’t remember the last time) and, well, I have just an overall better feeling of health. There is a quite good pharmacy called Nutri-Pharma in New York, where the pharmacists are extremely knowledgeable about supplements and what they can do, can’t do, what they are good for, etc. If you are not seeing a health care professional who is an expert in this field…I would go there in a heart beat.
February 17, 2014 at 4:21 pm
Because of increasing problems with pollutions in wild fish such as mercury, radioactivity & more, well Farmed Fish might be of higher quality (or not, this stereotyping as most stereotyping is subject to error so it’s best we remain judging on an individualized & itemized basis :-))
February 17, 2014 at 4:26 pm
Steve Paul I agree there are differing opinions and information about this particular issue…there are certain fishes I don’t eat and I suspect that differs from state to state. I personally am suspicious of farmed fish from what I read myself…and there are certain wild caught areas that are not polluted waters. My best suggestion would be to buy fish from a reputable fish dealer. I personally vote for wild caught, but that’s my preference for certain types of fish. The food issue is hard Steve Paul…we’ve really mucked up the food supply with chemicals…and I appreciate your point.
February 17, 2014 at 4:29 pm
You are a woman after my own heart! All you shared above makes sense, and resonances with me. I appreciate the time it took to reply. I already eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and very low meat, and drink mostly water (coffee is my only vice). I need to eat more fish, and start taking fish oil. I put flax seed on anything I can, but I know fish oil ads more than just the good Omegas. Anyway, I am going to bookmark the articles you supplied, and ramp it up. At 53 I have no heart, or blood pressure, or diabetes problems, or digestion problems,or any of that internal systems concerns. I feel mostly perfect, with the exception of joints feeling “less secure”, if you know what I mean, and taking a bit longer to wake up, get out of bed and moving. I used to practically jump up and moving within 5 min. after awaking. Crossword puzzles? Gotta add it to the list. I do read a lot! Have a great day, and thanks for sharing your experiences.
February 17, 2014 at 4:55 pm
Thank you for that sweet response Blair Warner. I was thinking just yesterday what it would be like if we were to remove the words (with reference to people) “aging” and “older” and “fat” and “thin” from our vocabularies. I cannot think of any good that any of them are doing any of us. Women in general feel that they only things that matter about them is whether they are thin (I posted recently a post called Tell Me, Google, Is My Son a Genius?) and beautiful and young. They are not raised to think that their brains are sexy and beautiful. Men tend to think that their entire identity comes from their careers, their job titles, their position, power and salary. They are not raised to believe that who they are as human beings is meaningful and important and sexy. I think about van Gogh often. In this day and age the most important (arguably or inarguably) Impressionist painter would be considered a loser because he wasn’t rich, famous and a power monger in his day. We seriously need to retool our definition of what it means to be alive!
February 17, 2014 at 5:05 pm
Many people of all ages male and female with so called “disabilities” show more courage, inspiration, and make fuller use of their brains and their abilities then many of the rest of us so called non disabled do. Just my 3 cents worth.
February 17, 2014 at 9:22 pm
Giselle Minoli – a couple of things that have shown up in my news feed recently.
One you may enjoy at Maria Popova’s Brain Pickings blog:
http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2014/02/11/my-life-in-middlemarch-george-eliot-rebecca-mead/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+brainpickings%2Frss+%28Brain+Pickings%29
And one Blair Warner may enjoy that features a wonderful athlete and what appears to be a fun and informative book about her: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/10/seeking-the-keys-to-longevity-in-what-makes-olga-run/
February 17, 2014 at 9:28 pm
Thank you so much the ever engaging and responsive Bill Abrams. I will check out both subito!
February 17, 2014 at 10:21 pm
I recommend the link in the NYT Well blog to an excerpt from the book. If gerontological physiology piques your interest, it is both a story and a bunch of exercise and longevity tidbits.
February 17, 2014 at 10:42 pm
HI Giselle Minoli ;I wrote a “book” and then it didn’t post! I thank you again for such an insightful post and incredible follow up comments.
Thank you for the kudos. No corrections needed my friend. Diet (no sugar,no simple carbs,minimal meat) and exercise are the basic steps for brain health.
More complex steps I have blogged about several times and just lost my post trying to give everyone a link so let me post this and then come back for the link.
One last thought before I go: IMHO “elderly” implies mental or physical infirmity so I think you can be an elderly 55 or a young 100. I plan on the latter and with or without company will keep my coffee cup filled. I hope all of you do too and especially you,G.
https://plus.google.com/108410990479189195678/posts/grXuN3onpNq There! This is just one of many. For more;just put it in the subject of my blog at my website which you’ll find at the bottom of the post
OK! Google finally let me do this!!!
February 18, 2014 at 3:23 am
You are awesome Kim Crawford M.D. – Anti-Aging Doctor Florida . Thank you so much. Keep my coffee cup filled? Are you kidding? I’m Italian! Or did you mean I should plan on being a young 100 to keep you company? That, too…but that goes without saying! Told you all Kim Crawford M.D. – Anti-Aging Doctor Florida was a gift here on G+. Read her blog! Get thyselves young and healthy!
February 18, 2014 at 3:15 pm
Definitely plan on being a young 100 to keep me company! Actually I have always thought that. And we’ll have full coffee cups together. Tell you what;I’ll even make the coffee!
Hey,YOU are awesome; other than the NYT editorials and comments this is my only intellectual and thought provoking read of the day most days (your blogs).
February 18, 2014 at 4:02 pm
Thank you for that Kim Crawford M.D. – Anti-Aging Doctor Florida . Oh the pressure. The pressure! But I can handle it…
February 18, 2014 at 4:25 pm
LOL yes you can!
February 16, 2017 at 5:42 pm
Lisa Oliver thank you for your kind comments. I care not the slightest for flashy pictures. If there is one pertinent and meaningful to something that I am writing, I will post it, but in general I don’t aim to please the masses, only to write and post about things in which I am generally interested. How nice that this post made its way to you…or that you made your way to it!
April 4, 2017 at 7:21 am
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