They told me a long time ago, they didn’t like me and I would never get it.

You know what?  I think I love her.  She did indeed have the last laugh.

Oh to speak with such honesty and clarity Dee Solberg and John Jainschigg. She was true to herself, no matter the fickle Nobel Committee. Reminds me of Salinger’s relationship with The New Yorker…they rejected and rejected and rejected him…

What I admire Dee Solberg is that the fire within her was stronger than the grudge. The story with Alice Munro is different. It’s more that the art of the short story wasn’t at the top of the literary list. It mattered not to her. She did her thing. Would that all young women were able to more readily turn their backs on critcism and be true to themselves, eh? Doris Lessing and Isak Dinesen were, I think, the two female writers whose spirits had the biggest impact on me growing up. Something about willpower. And talent.

I just can’t overlook the abandoning her children, it colours everything for me.

I know, and it’s true, and yet reading the article, it seems that she was generally a faithless sort of person.  I highly respect women who decide not to have children, even if that doesn’t resonate with me, but having had them (not one, but two! What was she thinking of! And then later a third! What happened to him? Not much is said about Peter…), to then abandon them is something that speaks deeply to me, of selfishness.  And I can’t abide with selfishness to that degree, so that I wonder at the message that she gives, the value of it, and if she really merits being an inspiration or not.

And I wouldn’t force her not to abandon them, mind, each person being free to do as they will (up to a certain point of course), but I certainly do not hold these people up as models of humanity.  Not because they are your children, but because they are weaker souls that need love and care until they can manage by themselves.  You do not leave the sick, the elderly, or the young, to fend for themselves and “save yourself first”.  Not in my dogma at least.

Daniela Huguet Taylor I can’t quibble with the sensitive issues you raise. Clearly she was in turmoil about the issue and it is that with which I empathize. I also don’t want to go down the road that would suggest that a person’s artistic merit or value is altogether tied to some sort of harmony and unity within their souls and selves. Otherwise we would have to utterly dismiss Picasso (never described as a “good” man) and, from all accounts, J.D. Salinger as well, who was also in tremendous turmoil about family and children and was estranged from a daughter who was interviewed for the recent documentary about Salinger’s life.

And in an entirely unrelated field, we’d have to eradicate Steve Jobs, notoriously an unkind man. I have not heard he was unkind to his children, but to his employees. Does that make him a better, or a worse, man?

I raise the issue because I don’t believe that because Lessing was a failure with her children that there isn’t a worthy literary legacy there. It is easier today for a women to decide not to have children, then it was oh so long ago.

Women judge one another severely about this issue. I know that from personal experience…because I chose not to have them.

I am forgiving of women who struggle with this particular issue because I know many of them and have throughout my life. It is easy for a woman to grapple with this if the circumstances of her life were set up for her to handle it otherwise – counsel, support, instruction, a sense of security, etc. But I have known too many women who were, Yes, because of their families and religions and social cultures, tormented by it. That she toyed with abortion and didn’t is a perfect example – I can almost see the wheels turning.

I have often been accused of being selfish for choosing not to have children. Having them is the world-wide automatic default. Sticking with it no matter what is the automatic default expectation. Disavowing oneself of any inner turmoil in order to be a good mother, is the automatic default challenge.

I can’t so easily as you declare that she could have done it differently, because it seems clear that she couldn’t…and didn’t. The book about Lessing’s life is unfinished. But perhaps one of the Lessons of Lessing is that (once again) the juggling of marriage and family with a creative and artistic calling is almost damning for women, which is the reason so few succeed.

Where would I draw the line and withhold my admiration for someone? If I discovered they were anti-semitic, certainly, or, Yes, anti-gay/lesbian. But I think that falls into a different category than an artist’s struggle with their own family/creative calling.

I know many people do, wrongly in my opinion, expect one to have children, or set this apart from everything else, but I judge this as I would any other duty (this one self-imposed in most cases, despite peer/culture pressure, unlike others) such as caring for your elderly parents or siblings or a hurt stranger by your side in an accident.  And how you treat your family, or gays, shouldn’t be any different, either.

In this case, she didn’t abandon her children in order to write, anyway, did she? It was family life itself that she couldn’t stand.

I’m not suggesting it does Daniela Huguet Taylor. I’m suggesting that whether she is deserving of the Nobel and/or respect or admiration for her work as a writer may not have anything to do with her failure as a mother. You are of course entitled to judge her however is appropriate for you.

For me, were I to post about artists based on whether I thought they were pristine people or not, well, I dare say I would have to switch to posting about technology…

A couple of examples of less than pristine famous men artists, whose contributions to their art are, I think, unquestioned:

Elia Kazan, whose testimony in front of the House Committee on UnAmerican Activities set him against his Hollywood colleagues. He is the Director of A Streetcar Named Desire, On the Waterfront and Splendor in the Grass, to name just a few. He was dissed at the Oscars when he was given a lifetime achievement award, interestingly not by fellow directors, but by actors. He is one of the great Hollywood directors, whose contribution to film is immeasurable. What took hold of him during McCarthyism? I don’t know.

Robert Redford, philandering husband, not so warm and fuzzy a father, is the Godfather of independent film in the US. The Sundance Institute has funded, shaped, supported and brought to life untold numbers of scripts that would have had no life elsewhere. Again, his contribution to the independent film movement is immeasurable.

I just don’t think we can judge a person’s creative or intellectual output by their failures as mothers, fathers, or, even as children…because they are not all little gems either! 

I’m not aware of admiring the “artistic” work of someone who has committed such crimes Daniela Huguet Taylor…but I’ll keep a look out. But…the films of Leni Riefenstahl come to mind???? I didn’t like her work so I’m off the hook!

I have an interesting story that might be related. I met with my college counselor on my second or third day after classes started. I had selected this counselor because I was planning to apply to a special program in three years to transfer to a very rigorous program at a very prominent institution. I wanted to make sure that I knew all the requirements, get all the classes I needed, and make a good impact on the three professors who determined which candidates were accepted (my counselor was one of them).

He told me after about 5 minutes of talking to me that “I wasn’t a good fit for the program” and probably wouldn’t make it.

Screw them.

I  still remember falling in love with the Golden Notebook 😉

T. Pascal dare I note that the Grouch and Ms. Lessing had more talent in their little toes than all of their critics in their entire beings combined? It seems to go that way. It’s so easy to pick apart. People are complicated. People are fallible. People are…human…

Hi, R. Harlan Smith…she sort of did decline by virtue of her tart remarks. Still…there is something about getting it, which even she recognized. Perhaps it’s as close to an apology from “The Committee” as they are capable of getting. Committees are made up of people. People get things right and they get things wrong. They are wise. They are unwise. They are judgemental. They are all sorts of things. I personally don’t know any artistic sort of person who wouldn’t, no matter their public protestations, be grateful for the recognition of such an award…

That is true for you, R. Harlan Smith I grant that. But it clearly wasn’t true for Doris Lessing… Each to their own?