It’s dinnertime, at least it is on the East Coast, everyone,
Will you look at this woman’s glorious face? It is the face of the famous Marion Cunningham, who said, in an interview in 2002,
No one is cooking at home anymore, so we are losing all the wonderful lessons we learn at the dinner table. People are living like they are in motels. They get fast food and take it home and turn on the TV. Schools and sports groups have soccer practice or what have you during what used to be called the dinner hour. We don’t need more competitive sports. We need to sit facing people with great regularity, so we are making an exchange and we are learning to be civilized.
I am a huge believer in cooking at home and having a daily meal together. How can I not believe that, being of Italian (American) heritage, a people for whom food is nutritional, celebratory, conversation inducing, love-enhancing, ritual respective, and an absolute necessity in life…like breathing and sleeping.
History has it that my father was the cook in our house. He was the Italian one. My mother, born into an Irish midwestern farming family, viewed food more as sustenance. She met my father and her life changed – in that she was lucky she had someone to cook for her. My mother was a basic cook, not a great cook, but she was a natural at the social aspect of what happened at a dinner table when people eat together – the conversation, the laughter, the sense of community, the friendships, the bonding.
She was not so great at this when my father died and our household fell victim to exactly what Marion Cunningham talks about in the above quote. My older brother preferred to spend hours after school at sports and the nightly family dinner eventually went by the wayside.
This was a huge loss in my life. I could never get used to the convenience of eating packaged food and even in my poorest moments (and there were many, all through college in fact) I would fix something for myself at the end of the day, even if it was just a salad, a chicken cutlet, a better than average sandwich. As history would therefore have it, I cooked all the way through college, often for friends, often with friends and I have never stopped.
Well, the only thing that sometimes stops me is an occasional I’m on strike mood because I’m tired of cleaning up. Because like a painter who needs to leave their brushes clean for the next day’s work, a cook needs to clean her pots and pans for the next evening’s deliciousness.
And I really rather dig that with the royalty check from her first book, Marion Cunningham bought a Jaguar. My kind of car.
Rest in peace Marion, and thank you for being one of the great women cooks who has influenced me and championed the power of friends and families breaking bread together. What a great tradition.
If any of you have heard of Alice Waters and Chez Pannisse in San Francisco, well, it was Marion who discovered her.
Chin chin everyone. Whatever it is, salad or soup, enjoy it. Food is soul sustaining.
‘Night.
GM
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/12/us/marion-cunningham-cookbook-author-dies-at-90.html?_r=1&hp
July 11, 2012 at 11:57 pm
My wife always insisted that everyone eat dinner at the dinner table, with the TV off, & no phone calls during mealtime. We had many, many great conversations during those times.
July 11, 2012 at 11:58 pm
This wonderful post made me realized that I”m more like your mother and that I miss a lot of greats moments by not caring enough about the other aspects of eating. Thanks to you,I will start to pay more attention to that. Thinking of it , buying one of Mrs Cunningham books might be a good first step.
July 12, 2012 at 12:41 am
Hi, Wallace Roberts Your wife was/is smart. The no phone call thing these days, for families with kids, is tough because of the constant texting thing. When people come to my house for dinner, no phones are allowed!
Claude St-Louis you can be more like my mother if you want. I think it’s fabulous that there are a lot of women who have men who cook for them. Never too late to start, right? The men I know who cook are pretty Zenned in guys.
July 12, 2012 at 12:52 am
I want to go to Chez Paniche.
July 12, 2012 at 12:55 am
Another idea is to cook together. I find it adds to the overall experience of the meal (and prolongs the conversation).
July 12, 2012 at 12:56 am
Lance Hagood There are many great women cooks and it is women in my opinion who have turned around the home cooking movement. But I wish there were more women chefs like Alice Waters at the restaurant level. It is changing. But it’s a pretty tough business, early rising, late nights. It’s hard when you have kids.
For home cooks…that cleaning up thing afterwards is KEY. No one likes to clean the stove. But you gotta do what you gotta do! There is a little elbow grease to a good dinner.
July 12, 2012 at 1:00 am
The cleaning up afterwards is the thing I prefer to delegate to the man of the house… 🙂
July 12, 2012 at 1:03 am
I like your style Lena Levin Do you give classes in that? And can I send my husband and stepson over? Can we make a list of the “non-cleaned thing” that makes us the craziest? I’ll start. For me it’s soaking my favorite wood cooking utensils in water until they look like you could use them for life preservers. The second is using a way too wet sponge to wipe off a countertop, what with all the huge water droplets and all that are left over.
But I digress.
And I’m a clean freak and I admit it. 🙂
July 12, 2012 at 1:05 am
Me, too Mara Rose I went once. I had desert because that was all I could afford. Some lemon custard thingy and coffee. Ah, no matter how little money I have, there will always be enough for a tart and coffee. This the Italians understand. 😉
July 12, 2012 at 1:09 am
Giselle Minoli One of the things I most loved about Italy is how everyone sits down and has a meal twice a day, and the way they stroll in the evening, instead of watching TV. The evening stroll was the first thing I noticed when I arrived there.
July 12, 2012 at 1:17 am
I know Mara Rose. As pio dal cin and Claudio Romagnoli will attest, the stroll after dinner in the Piazza IS the essence of Italian life. And Spain, too. I miss that enormously. Enormously. Whenever Italians I know visit the States, they always say, “But, where is the Piazza everyone visits after dinner???” They just don’t understand life without that. They are happy to visit…but happy also to return to their traditions. And what wonderful traditions they are!
Would that they could have a little of what is great about the States and we could have a little of what is great about Italy. That would be the perfect country. With Italian food and cars of course. And American “space.”
July 12, 2012 at 1:17 am
However hard it is to admit to any woman, I must in this case: it is rather my mother-in-law who can give classes in raising sons than I in training husbands.
July 12, 2012 at 1:38 am
Giselle Minoli I am really lucky to have a wife that makes lasagnas from scratch and every other meal is prepared by her hands, even the pizza dough. Tiramisu and Apple pie, pasta e fagioli and carbonara.
I do not remember eating a packaged food since I left the US.
And yes Mara Rose in the evening (summer) we walk to the piazza for a gelato or an espresso still.
July 12, 2012 at 2:26 am
Lena Levin _That_ is the title of an essay chapter. You should write it, from a personal POV, because it’s wonderfully said…a testament to your mother-in-law, and a testament to your husband, and one to you for noticing. I love it.
July 12, 2012 at 2:45 am
She did indeed Stacie Florer. I wish more people would find a silver lining in something like being gluten intolerant as you have done. Because it really can propel you to some other joy…the joy of taking caring of yourself. And I often think that when someone has something like that to deal with it makes them empathetic to other people who have to deal with something else. And that is what food should be all about. I confess I’m not a diverse enough cook to know how to deal with all of these things. I deal with other things…a husband who likes garlic but not too much, a stepson who likes blueberries but not in pancakes (horrors!), a stepdaughter who isn’t crazy about mushrooms…things like that. It certainly makes it interesting to cook. I don’t like to go out either. Nor does my husband, really and when we do it has to be to a restaurant that has a cuisine I can’t fix…like Thai, or Japanese or Indian. I have this fantasy about going to cooking school in Sicily. That would be a dream. I love, and am not surprised, that you knew Marion’s legacy. And it was that!
July 12, 2012 at 2:55 am
Ciao caro pio dal cin. Sono galosa! I make good pizza dough, but I don’t have a pasta machine and am afraid that if I buy one and start making pasta, my entire house will be covered with Lasagna sheets. I will have to string lines across the living room to dry them all! Ha!
Vorrei andare in Italia l’estate prossima, Pio. Proverò. Proverò…
July 12, 2012 at 3:28 am
Food is love, Giselle Minoli , and in my childhood, growing up in a house of eight (two parents, six kids – I was #5 out of 6), the daily sitdown dinner was a must … I remember it was the place of stories, life lessons, sharing calendars, arguments (my older brother LOVED to sit across from me and kick me beneath the table), confrontation of each other and ideas and mostly, a place of laughter. It is the place where I learned that food is more than sustenance for me – it is about love, family, being social, and sheer enjoyment of the deliciousness of it all. Food is an experience… My siblings hated cleanup because I was always the slowest eater, taking forever to finish because I was such a chatterbox. To this day, I take my time enjoying food, friendship, family and the daily dinnertime exchanges. Thanks sooo much for sharing such an important and vital aspect of life.
July 12, 2012 at 3:32 am
And never any electronics or technologies at the dinner table. This was and continues to be an unspoken given in our households. 🙂
July 12, 2012 at 3:39 am
Thank you ALL for sharing this post. There are a lot of food appreciators on Google+ and I love that.
Yikes Jennifer Tackman I see you name and I think we were supposed to have talked tonight! Yes? No? Can we do that, please? I had no idea you are one of 6 kids. You are a chatterbox and a lovely one and WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO START WRITING? We must talk. Tomorrow or Friday are good and then I’m traveling this weekend…not so good!
July 12, 2012 at 3:45 am
Giselle Minoli – Absolutely no worries… my mum is in the midst of round two of chemo, so tonight wasn’t the best. Either tomorrow or Friday works for me. Tomorrow might be slightly better given that mum is usually sicker on day four (today being two). As for writing… Yup. You are absolutely right. I must get on that. It is time and I am ready. Would you care to be a source of fire beneath my jumpstart? 😉
July 12, 2012 at 3:51 am
Love to be, Jennifer Tackman. Okay…so can we tentatively plan on tomorrow evening? Your Mum is much more important and I am not going anywhere I am always available for a phoner…Let’s get a git in our dual giddy up….
July 12, 2012 at 3:56 am
Giselle Minoli – Tomorrow evening it is… I actually do an after-dinner evening stroll with the dogs to the beach across the street, but I am back home by 9PM usually. Is that too late? And thank you for your flexibility. I shall let you know if mum is too ill and I cannot talk…
July 12, 2012 at 6:05 am
No wonder she look young eating home food . Healthy helping the world better and live good life .Good -Bye reste now..Merci.
July 12, 2012 at 7:03 am
Giselle Minoli Isn’t it strange that an American makes me feel proud of being Italian more than people here do?! 🙂
Anyway “the stroll ritual” is something we can’t live without in summer…during the rest of the year we just enjoy our after-dinner time sitting on sofas, chatting and drinking an amaro .
I think the key is “sharing”….that’s what we always do….
July 12, 2012 at 1:25 pm
Good morning Claudio Romagnoli. I will never be as Italian as you my friend. But I can try!. I think of Rome, Rome, Rome…I think of Rome often. And can’t wait to visit again…and to meet you when that happens!
July 12, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Hi, Matthew Graybosch Do you really want me to start posting about sex? I will if you want. But let me just say this, an appetite for food, music, writing, creativity (whether you like the fine arts and dance or not) is very much the same thing as having an appetite for sex. My way of telling you I don’t believe you!
July 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm
I will past for now no but thanks.
July 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm
When it comes to you Matthew Graybosch I would believe pretty much anything. 😉
July 12, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Giselle Minoli My girlfriend and I will be waiting for you here…
We’ve been living in Rome for 5 months and we don’t know the city well enough yet…but we’ll surely be ready by that time! 🙂
July 12, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Bene Claudio Romagnoli. Non vedo l’ora di verdervi nella cita Italiana preferita del mio marito!